Spiderman 3...
May. 5th, 2007 07:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starvinbohemian*Deep breath*
Okay...
Let's sum up what happens to my darling Harry the Hobgoblin:
Angry!-RAWR!-OUCH!-Brain-damage!-Happy!-Tee-hee!-Kissy-face!-Scar-face!-Redeemed!-Dead!
Still wouldn't push Harry out of bed for anything in the world, but NOBODY TOUCHES THE FRANCO'S FACE! Do you hear me, Raimi? Do you? That face is a masterpiece up there with the art they have in the Louvre. Nobody gets to mess with it!
Even the double-team fighting at the end doesn't count as a highlight, because I've seen it before. I know I keep comparing everything to Riku/Sora in Kingdom Hearts, but the double-team fight was the exact same fight as when Riku and Sora take on Xemnas at the end of KH2. From the emotional stand-points of the characters to the same MOVES. The take-my-hand-and-SWING move especially. I'm not accusing Raimi of stealing it, because that would be ridiculous. Just saying that the comparison ruined it for me.
All Harry abominations aside, I fucking hate you, Sam Raimi. And I loves me ALL the Raimis. But not you right now. Not... you. Ted is officially the favorite. Xena does not make up for this thing. You borrowed the chimp that wrote the last three Star Wars films from George Lucas, and he clearly brought along his retarded cousin to edit this for you. Why?
We left the theater in a daze, unable to fully comprehend how bad this movie was. I kid you not. If you have not seen this movie yet and can help yourself, then DON'T!!!!!! It's like they tried to make several different movies (one being a MUSICAL) and couldn't decide which one to go with. So, they went with ALL of them! Yay! Except not, because they ALL sucked.
I'm not even going into the Connor Oberst impersonation Tobey McGuire was doing this time around, or the emo crying, or strangely-always-present-anorexic-chick, or Bryce Dallas Howard (still ugly in a blonde wig) as Gwen Stacey, or the new heights of McGuire AWKWARDNESS achieved over the two-and-a-half hours, or... *Sigh* You get my point. I have to go scrub out my brain now. HARD.
Okay...
Let's sum up what happens to my darling Harry the Hobgoblin:
Angry!-RAWR!-OUCH!-Brain-damage!-Happy!-Tee-hee!-Kissy-face!-Scar-face!-Redeemed!-Dead!
Still wouldn't push Harry out of bed for anything in the world, but NOBODY TOUCHES THE FRANCO'S FACE! Do you hear me, Raimi? Do you? That face is a masterpiece up there with the art they have in the Louvre. Nobody gets to mess with it!
Even the double-team fighting at the end doesn't count as a highlight, because I've seen it before. I know I keep comparing everything to Riku/Sora in Kingdom Hearts, but the double-team fight was the exact same fight as when Riku and Sora take on Xemnas at the end of KH2. From the emotional stand-points of the characters to the same MOVES. The take-my-hand-and-SWING move especially. I'm not accusing Raimi of stealing it, because that would be ridiculous. Just saying that the comparison ruined it for me.
All Harry abominations aside, I fucking hate you, Sam Raimi. And I loves me ALL the Raimis. But not you right now. Not... you. Ted is officially the favorite. Xena does not make up for this thing. You borrowed the chimp that wrote the last three Star Wars films from George Lucas, and he clearly brought along his retarded cousin to edit this for you. Why?
We left the theater in a daze, unable to fully comprehend how bad this movie was. I kid you not. If you have not seen this movie yet and can help yourself, then DON'T!!!!!! It's like they tried to make several different movies (one being a MUSICAL) and couldn't decide which one to go with. So, they went with ALL of them! Yay! Except not, because they ALL sucked.
I'm not even going into the Connor Oberst impersonation Tobey McGuire was doing this time around, or the emo crying, or strangely-always-present-anorexic-chick, or Bryce Dallas Howard (still ugly in a blonde wig) as Gwen Stacey, or the new heights of McGuire AWKWARDNESS achieved over the two-and-a-half hours, or... *Sigh* You get my point. I have to go scrub out my brain now. HARD.
