Surrogacy...

So, there were about five minutes today when I was seriously considering becoming a surrogate mother for a wealthy couple. I got the idea from watching Oprah (because that's what I do now in the house of St. Oprah and St./Dr. Phil).

Apparently, you can get circa $22,000 in a flat fee, with several thousand for additional costs. Damn, says I. All that for nine months of work. That would pay off all my student loans in one go and set me up nicely in a condo in a location of my choosing. Imagine having all that fresh out of college. Oh, and the huge joy I would receive by helping a needy couple, etc. etc.

Anyway, I was all set to push the "Sign Me Up" button, when I realized that all of the agencies require surrogates to have had at least one child previously to prove that they're fertile. Damnit. I guess I get to pay the student loans off like everyone else... *Sigh*

Swimmer's Ear and Stephanie Meyer is My Enemy...

Well, I've gone and gotten myself a lovely case of Swimmer's Ear. Ouches. I just knew something like this would happen the minute I move away from the Student Health that was conveniently located two blocks up the street from my apartment. Despite the pain, it's still worth it to have rid myself of that horrid farmer's tan.


I was also infinitely cheered up by mocking Twilight with [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] in her journal. Because it's official. Stephanie Meyer is my sworn enemy. Her books are bad. Why does no one see it? I am mocked by the stacks of her books at the entrance to every bookstore I enter and by all the gushing thirteen-year-olds I encounter. If for no other reason, I want to become a successful writer so that I can somehow defeat her.

I feel like I'm Salieri to her Mozart, except that she's nowhere near as talented as Mozart. -_-;